You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
