I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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