D3 body, D1 cock
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i think my cat just said my name.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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