She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
