i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
