I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
