Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
