he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
