i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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