South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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