Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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