her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
