there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
