Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
