it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
