we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
