Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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