I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize