I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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