i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
