omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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