I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
