I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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