I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
