I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
