i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
