none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
