butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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