well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
