Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
