i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
