hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
