how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize