Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
