Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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