Porn is love you can see.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
