I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
