Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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