all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
