it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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