I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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