They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
