He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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