I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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