maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
