Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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