If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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