seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
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