at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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