Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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