so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
