No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
