I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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