It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
