am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
