He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
