My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
