Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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