My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
